Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
