If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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