I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
