Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
