how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
