I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
