wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We talked him into tasing himself.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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