The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
