just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You pole danced in your parka.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.