I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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