i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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