Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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