yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
