he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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