so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
