Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't deserve a penis
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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