My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he shaved USA in his pubs
He kissed a someone with a penis
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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