ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
are you so shy because you have an std?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
