Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
