:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
