my mouth tastes like poor choices
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
