I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
