I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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