So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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