if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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