Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
