Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
