that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
