I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
