he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
