Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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