god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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