Im at strip club and am horny
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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