and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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