The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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