I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.