it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize