I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
