He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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