I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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