happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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