Will you blow on my dice?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
