I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he thought i was a dude.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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