I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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