It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
