I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
