I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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