I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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