after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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