I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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