I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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