theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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