Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
