Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
