Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The power of my boobs compel you
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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