I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
