You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
