I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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