Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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