someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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