i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
