Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize